Sup Nopesters! (and the legions of tech bloggers, blog tech’ers and livejournalists who are no doubt tuning in for my industry-quaking acquisition announcement).
Greetings from Nassau, Bahamas (but it doesn’t really matter which island I’m on—I’m researching. We don’t bring Nopuorg deals to ANY city until I’ve personally checked it out to confirm that it’s people aren’t vaccinated against Nopuorg fever!).
By now you’ve all heard the Frumors (faux-rumors) that Nopuorg is on the cusp of getting snatched out by a major business company. I won’t lie—the interest has been frenetic.
That is why I decided to “brings the facts” to my loyal nopesters (sup!) first and factmost. Here are just a few of the companies that have tried to pluck the Nopuorg Egg from the Profit Tree over the past eighteen-months:
AskJeeves: I was blown away after being approached by what is easily my favorite search site, even though I would never use a butler in real life (I even refuse maid service whenever I’m staying in a hotel—gotta keep being real). Unfortunately, the search giant demanded too many concessions, namely our groundbreaking HILARIOUS writing voice. Nopuorg will NEVER tone it down…and that’s a promise.
Sony: Of course the electronics giants were interested, the Nopuorg business model is a Fort Knox of money…(there’s a lot of it). But at the end of the day, I could never sell Nopuorg to a foreign company…I bleed Red, White AND Blue. Specifically the versions of these colors from the AMERICAN flag, I’m well aware that many other countries choose to borrow these colors.
Encyclopedia Britannica: It’s no secret that paper is dead, so naturally the encyclopedia giants are looking toward the future. Unfortunately, partnering with these information peddlers doesn’t make a lot of “fiscal sense,” because our Internal Research shows that Nopuorg Subscribers are already among the most knowledgeable, widely-educated market segment in our demographic.
There you have it Nopesters…Nopuorg has not…is not…and WILL NEVER sell out.
As my favorite rap group NWA (Nopesters With Attitude—I met Chuck D!) famously said: “Don’t Believe the Hype.”
About to go bodyboarding! Mason Andrews, CEO, MFA, Dreamer